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Electrix, I don't think you'll find anyone who is either staff or a regular at KG is going to judge you for this. As was pointed out, you've had this for awhile, and a doctor gave it a label. I am sure you will, instead of criticism, find alot of support here. Most if not all of us have battled severe depression at least once in our lives. I've been fighting it for years, and sometimes it's easier than other times to pull myself out of it. I "think" way too much, and listen to far too many "old tapes" that play in my head. Ones that were put there by ex's, family, people whom I thought were friends. They eat away at what little confidence I have, they interfere with what should be happy events because I'm so busy listening to the "old tapes" and having no faith in myself that I miss out on lots of good stuff. When I get like that, I write. Not on the puter, by hand--because that takes more focussed energy. I write whatever comes to mind. Most of the time it works, sometimes it doesn't. I know it will pass and my mood will pick up eventually. I do much better when I'm not around my family (by family I mean parents, sibling...not my own kids), and when I avoid people who play mindgames. The "old tapes" are very hard to get rid of, usually because they are made of "lessons" well learned, because there were consequences to not learning them. It's easier if you have support for these situations, which I have found here in the members, staff, and of course from exile & shy.

So don't feel we are going to ostracize you for having this problem Electrix-that couldn't be further from the truth. <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... /smile.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':)\' />

Ada, Not To Sound Mean or Any Thing But Sense you Put It Like that i was Like " Just Hit The Eject Button " Lol Sorry.

Ohh Eletrix Humm i dont Know What To Say Really, Well We Will Give You the Support That We Can Give. And We Will Pray.

Tech, don't you think if it were that easy I would? I've been living with this stuff for longer than most of you have been alive. It is very hard to explain, and unless you've travelled anything remotely close to the path I have, you wouldn't understand what's involved.

hey I just watched a thing on TV the other day.....it is quite controversial... but I thought I'd give you the link so you can read a bit....
[url=\"http://www.truehope.com/\"]Clickety[/url]

wow lots of info on that site, Shy....thnx for sharing it <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... /smile.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':)\' />

I know Where Your Comming From Ada Even Thought i havet Experinced it My Self But I just Thought it was Funny at The Time Sorry.... =(

yea <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... /blink.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':blink:\' /> that explains how I feel too o.o........ As much as people have it you'd think it would be quite normal by now <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... >/blum.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':P\' /> lol!

It is hard to deal with. I started getting these feelings after my best friend got hit by a car and didn't make it. blah blah blah- I don't wanna get intot hat conversation just brings the feelings back.

Anyway- like everyone else has said; No one should judge you here. If so they might as well start judging a lot of people on this board =x

~Josh <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... sp_ike.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\'(spike)\' />

My Mum is also a manic deepressive, Some times she can be hard to deal with. One minute she can be in a really good mood, then literaly change to a vile woman, but its about understanding more than anything. There are lots of things you can do to help. She finds writting things down very helpfull. Shes got this big book that she writes down all her thoughts in, she says that helps her alot. I sometimes get loads of things whiring round in my head and Ive tried doing the same and I find it helps too. Helps you order you thoughts and stuff. Maybe you could try this also. Shes coming down to see me in a week or so, so I'll ask her for some addvice that might be helpfull for you. You will get through it dude, just gota stay strong.

Thanks guys, at least Ive got some support <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... #>/huh.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':huh:\' /> ah well, somehow in which way or another, life throws things at you and dodge em o.o

[quote name=\'Electrix\' date=\'Jul 31 2004, 07:34 AM\']me too , for a while then it ends. you go to the self harm thing. then youre screwed becuase once you start you cant stop, it becomes an addiction. in case you havent noted my name on msn ;\[/quote]
Yeah,I get what you mean,I still have scars on my arms/stumach.