Page 1 of 1

Belief

Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 9:11 am
by Electrix
Look at me.
Dont turn away.
Tears rolling down your cheeks, signing your last goodbye, breathe freely, relief over powers you.
You think it's over.
But no.
I wont let it be, I wont let you fall.
Broken promises, broken wings, faded photographs, forgotten feelings.
All wash over you like a tidal wave of darkness, but I am here, your security, your shelter, your friend and I wont let you drown.
I know you can break free of this prison, I believe you can out-wit your demons. Please, wont you at least try?
And as we fall beneath the water, breathing a sigh of cold relief, I look to you, begging and pleading you to try.
To save you.
To save us.

Belief

Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 4:39 pm
by Tami
Electrix

All of your poetry is very insightful emotionally; however that gets lost in your style--while it is 'your' style, it robs your poems of their full impact.

[i]*is determined to get you improving on your work*[/i]