Bush Birds Flying Away
Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2004 3:02 am
[b]Bush Birds Flying Away[/b]
For many years the well-known Kee Bird, a member of the family “Ornis Gyratus”, ruled the roost in the field of strange behavior. For those of you who are not familiar with his story, a brief summary of this ornothological wonder follows.
Due to a grossly over-developed right wing, this unfortunate creature was doomed to forever fly in tight, counter-clockwise circles. In one particular instance, the one for which he was named, he became momentarily distracted and flew in an extremely tight circle. To his dismay, he soon realized that his cranial extremity had been completely engulfed in his posterior orifice, whereupon he was heard to utter the never-to-be-forgotten phrase, “Kee-rist, it’s dark in here”, from whence he derived his well-deserved title, the “Kee Bird”.
It has recently come to the attention of this writer that several other, perhaps even stranger, orno-oddities have been observed. It now appears that the field of circumgyration may be on the verge of becoming over-crowded.
The first, and undoubtedly considered by many to be the most important deviant of the group, is the Smirky Turkey, first observed flying over Camp David on weekends. Oddly enough, this bird was reported to have been flying in an oval pattern, and it has been rumored that his nest is oval-shaped. He alights every evening at sunset to rest amongst the bush’s. Although having suffered the same misfortune as the Kee bird, he is as yet unaware of his predicament, and is still looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. History will show that this light was an on-coming freight train.
The next odd ornithoid is the “Colin Condor”, who, much to his credit, has just announced that he is “flying the coop”. He will be replaced by the “Condo Canary”. She says she needs to discuss the matter with her condo leaser.
“Donald Duck” said his rump felt bad and has not yet to filed a flight plan. He has been described as an expert in the field of circumlocution.
Next in this infamous lineup is the “Bulgy Buzzard”, circling over California in search of a constitutional amendment that would allow him to also occupy an oval nest some time in the future.
The one remaining, and yet to be explained, is the mystererious “Hairy Flood Bird”, for whom a highway in Virginia has been named.
[url=\"http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i6981&rating=5\"][Source][/url]
For many years the well-known Kee Bird, a member of the family “Ornis Gyratus”, ruled the roost in the field of strange behavior. For those of you who are not familiar with his story, a brief summary of this ornothological wonder follows.
Due to a grossly over-developed right wing, this unfortunate creature was doomed to forever fly in tight, counter-clockwise circles. In one particular instance, the one for which he was named, he became momentarily distracted and flew in an extremely tight circle. To his dismay, he soon realized that his cranial extremity had been completely engulfed in his posterior orifice, whereupon he was heard to utter the never-to-be-forgotten phrase, “Kee-rist, it’s dark in here”, from whence he derived his well-deserved title, the “Kee Bird”.
It has recently come to the attention of this writer that several other, perhaps even stranger, orno-oddities have been observed. It now appears that the field of circumgyration may be on the verge of becoming over-crowded.
The first, and undoubtedly considered by many to be the most important deviant of the group, is the Smirky Turkey, first observed flying over Camp David on weekends. Oddly enough, this bird was reported to have been flying in an oval pattern, and it has been rumored that his nest is oval-shaped. He alights every evening at sunset to rest amongst the bush’s. Although having suffered the same misfortune as the Kee bird, he is as yet unaware of his predicament, and is still looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. History will show that this light was an on-coming freight train.
The next odd ornithoid is the “Colin Condor”, who, much to his credit, has just announced that he is “flying the coop”. He will be replaced by the “Condo Canary”. She says she needs to discuss the matter with her condo leaser.
“Donald Duck” said his rump felt bad and has not yet to filed a flight plan. He has been described as an expert in the field of circumlocution.
Next in this infamous lineup is the “Bulgy Buzzard”, circling over California in search of a constitutional amendment that would allow him to also occupy an oval nest some time in the future.
The one remaining, and yet to be explained, is the mystererious “Hairy Flood Bird”, for whom a highway in Virginia has been named.
[url=\"http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i6981&rating=5\"][Source][/url]