The Flying Eggplant has landed
Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 3:07 am
This is your travelling field reporter Shy coming to you live from the frozen wastelands of Alberta....ok, I lied, it\'s actually close to 10 above Celcius...a veritable heat wave for these parts. But, The frozen wastelands line sounded good.
While cruizing through the mountains and accross the prairies in the absolutely un-incredible flying eggplant, we learned some new things about Murphy\'s law.
When experiencing windshield wiper failure:
1) Cars have 2 wipers...gas stations have 1.
2) the 1 wiper blade that fits your car will be double the price of all the ones that do not fit your car.
3) that 1 wiper blade will be a winter blade if it\'s raining and a rain blade if it\'s wintering.
4) It will take 5 gas stations to achieve 2 wiper blades.
5) the second the last gas station fades out of sight, you will be splashed with whatever that awefull gunk is they put on the roads these days and promptly run out of washer fluid.
Rules of the road:
1) if the sign says slushy sections...it means you will use 18 gallons of washer fluid.
2) if the sign says slippery sections...it doesn\'t mean it\'s slippery...it means a couple fools don\'t know how to drive and landed in the ditch.
3) if the sign says bare and dry...it means the sand/salt/whatever that gunk is is so thick that after 2 miles your car will be encased in a great blob of whatever it is...never to be clean again.
Rules of travelling with children:
1) 10 seconds before you spot a gas station your 4 year old will dramatically scream, \"I can\'t hold it any more!!!\" and wet her pants.
2) the heavvier the traffic = the louder the fights will be.
While cruizing through the mountains and accross the prairies in the absolutely un-incredible flying eggplant, we learned some new things about Murphy\'s law.
When experiencing windshield wiper failure:
1) Cars have 2 wipers...gas stations have 1.
2) the 1 wiper blade that fits your car will be double the price of all the ones that do not fit your car.
3) that 1 wiper blade will be a winter blade if it\'s raining and a rain blade if it\'s wintering.
4) It will take 5 gas stations to achieve 2 wiper blades.
5) the second the last gas station fades out of sight, you will be splashed with whatever that awefull gunk is they put on the roads these days and promptly run out of washer fluid.
Rules of the road:
1) if the sign says slushy sections...it means you will use 18 gallons of washer fluid.
2) if the sign says slippery sections...it doesn\'t mean it\'s slippery...it means a couple fools don\'t know how to drive and landed in the ditch.
3) if the sign says bare and dry...it means the sand/salt/whatever that gunk is is so thick that after 2 miles your car will be encased in a great blob of whatever it is...never to be clean again.
Rules of travelling with children:
1) 10 seconds before you spot a gas station your 4 year old will dramatically scream, \"I can\'t hold it any more!!!\" and wet her pants.
2) the heavvier the traffic = the louder the fights will be.