My Board

Medieval Story Rough Draft

Once upon a time, long ago in the little town of Kukston lived four children; Osric, Theodore, Eliza, and Jescina. Osric, the oldest, was a very tall young man with dark brown hair. Theodore, the second youngest male was a very ruefull, or depressed, young individual. Ever since their parents had passed away in a tragic incident he has never been the same. Eliza was the oldest female of all the children. She was about five foot five inches and had long naturally curly brown hair. Jescina, the youngest of all the children, was a short individual; short blonde hair was what she was known for. It is the most beautiful silky smooth hair you have ever seen or touched.

These four children didn’t know it, but they were royal children. Yes, I said royal children. Why didn’t they know this? Well, it’s all very complicated to be honest, but the parents wanted to keep them safe
from all the responsibility a royal would have to carry. They wanted their children to grow up as normal individuals instead of having royalty take over their minds and have them think they can do whatever they want. As you and I both know, power can go to ones head; So much that it can make everyone around them dislike them. Who would want someone to be a ruler when they think they can do anything they want and get away with it? I know I wouldn’t, but this story isn’t about my opinion so let’s keep moving along.

On this day it was one week after the childrens’ parent’s death and since their parent’s death they have been living with their aunt, Lillian Simon. Lillian, or Lil for short

Uhh that's all I have... what do you think?

a little bit more:

On this day it was one week after the childrens’ parent’s death and since their parent’s death they have been living with their aunt, Lillian Simone. Lillian, or Lil for short, was a very wise woman but she was also a very mean guardian. She never had a nice thing to say to the children and had never thanked them, told them that she loved them, hugged them, read them a bed-time story... She never did anything nice! So, it was their parent’s wishes that after their death that the children would be put under the responsibility of Lillian. Along with taking care of the children, her responsibility was to sit the children down to talk to them about who they really are; royalty. Now, after I’ve told you everything there is to know about Lillian, do you think she would do this? Of course not!

[color=\"green\"]very nice, however i would change: "since their parent’s death" to "since that day" assuming they died on the...same day?

i do like the possible twist that is coming.. nice work with that <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... >/good.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\'(Y)\' /> [/color]