My Board

Posted: **Wed Sep 13, 2006 2:54 pm**

well this hasnt happened for a while... similarly this forum hasnt been posted in for a while. *shrugs*

[quote name=\'Help Me?\']Help me...
I’ve fallen and I cant get up
I don’t know where I am anymore
I'm surrounded by darkness

The walls have eyes, of pure shade
I can feel their gaze
Piercing me
Ripping me
Tearing me
Am I still asleep?

Why can I not get out?
Is it up or down?
My body wont show, but my mind knows
I need to be found

Help me
Lead the way
Help me
Light my eyes
Help me
Answer my questions
Help me?
I need you

I've been fighting so long
Since I don’t know when
There's no start in sight
Only an end

There is a path, to the end
I can see it now, but its not my friend
There’s pain in store, I can see it now
Whips to my heart, more and more

Isn’t it strange
That all I wanted
Turned into
All that would cause me pain?

Isn’t that odd, isn’t it weird
Do you find it hard to believe
I don’t think so, because I caused it myself
I did this...
I am my own enemy

Copyright James Vercoe 2006[/quote]

c&c?

Posted: **Wed Sep 13, 2006 3:44 pm**

wow...so many possible overlying themes in this piece, and each one causes the reader to ponder, as you do, which is the right path. You've touched on something that many people, at some point in their life, come to realize - that we are, in truth, often our own worst enemies.

Other than the few typos (which I will forgive because I know it's very late for you), you've once again written a provocative piece of poetry. There are a few lines I would alter a little bit just to maintain a steadier metre, but overall, I think you nailed it.