Bridging the gadget gift gap

[RuffRyders]

[b]Bridging the gadget gift gap[/b]
[i]When I saw that little television, I despaired.[/i]

[size=1]Written by John Schwartz[/size]

It was a wonderful gift from my folks to my middle child, Sam: small enough to wear on a cord around the neck, it was the kind of thing that I knew had evoked a kind of gadget lust in my father.

It would have thrilled me as a kid, I knew. And I knew just as surely that Sam, then 10, would not have much interest in it. He does not watch much television; he prefers the computer screen. Besides, a piece of delicate electronic equipment does not quite fit Sam's lifestyle: when he is out and about, he is generally crashing into his friends at high speed in pickup football games. So it sits, appreciated but never used.

There have been so many rifts dividing Americans of late: Bush states versus Kerry states, Yankees versus Red Sox, Windows versus Mac. By comparison, the generation gap seems almost quaint. Intergenerational differences? So 60s.

One thing dividing many families is technology. Youngsters live in a high-tech bubble, moving from screen to screen throughout their day and typing and clicking and virtually breathing bits. Their parents (my crowd, if you will), having seen computers become personal in their lifetimes, tend to have a working relationship with technology that doesn't necessarily involve the same all-encompassing embrace.

And then there is the still-older generation. Although gadgetry can become an obsession at any age, and many a grandparent is handy with a digital camera or a wireless laptop, there are many more who find most technology a mystery. After all, many of them were young when radio was considered pretty spiffy.

This generational divide becomes apparent every fall as families start to think about Christmas and other gift-giving holidays. The appeal of giving technology is high, but so are the risks. Would Grandpa actually use a TiVo? Is there a computer game that little Billy does not already own, and will it run on his PC?

Seventy-six percent of Americans plan to give a tech gift this season, slightly more than last year, according to a poll conducted for the Consumer Electronics Association. Whether it is something economical like a new DVD player or a flat-screen television that costs thousands of dollars, "the hard part is figuring out what you want to give," said Jim Barry, a spokesman for the association.

The association surveys consumers every year at about this time, and creates a list of what people plan to buy and what people hope to get. "We're giving digital cameras, but we want a flat-screen TV," Barry said.

The disconnects can be most pronounced across generational lines, the association's figures show. Teenagers are most interested in getting video games, computers and portable music players, said Sean M. Wargo, director of industry analysis for the association. Adults, on the other hand, want plasma TVs, digital cameras and big-screen televisions. For those 60 and older, the interest in consumer electronics drops off pretty sharply, Wargo said, but their wish list is a lot like that of middle-age adults, with big-screen and plasma televisions and notebook PCs toward the top.

The risk of a mismatch is high, Barry says. "You say, 'Let's buy grandma an MP3 player!' and Grandma says, 'What the heck is that?'"

For Chris Harshman, a law student living in Los Angeles, the hard lesson came with an expensive Sony Clie digital organizer that he bought for his mother, Kathi, who lives in St. Louis. "It's literally been collecting dust for three years now," Harshman said. To him, it was an irresistible object of desire; to her it was an easily resistible source of complication in her life. "Trying to get my Mom to use technology when it wasn't at her instigation was a losing battle," he said.

The key to successful gift buying is research--and finding good help, said Michael Trebony, district manager of a Best Buy store in West Paterson, N.J. He said that he asked customers looking for grandchild presents to describe the child, and sought out clues from the conversation: does the kid like music? Does he burn his own CD's? Does he already have a music player like Apple Computer's iPod? For those seeking tech presents for older adults, he probes just as deeply: Do they like photography? Would they be willing to try a digital camera?

Some older gift recipients, Trebony said, would welcome the ease of use and quick gratification of digital cameras, but do not want to mess around with a computer to see their pictures. He directs buyers for the semi-phobic to printers that produce photos directly from digital cameras, now made by many companies, including Sony and HP.

At the Best Buy in Union, N.J., there is the disorienting roar of thousands of boxes turned on to show their stuff: computers, stereos, televisions and game consoles. In the din, a clerk shows off the iPod to a potential customer. Looking over his shoulder nervously at his manager and unwilling to give his name or talk for long because clerks are not allowed to give interviews without permission, he nonetheless wanted to share his pride in his ability to match a customer with the right product.

"A lot of people, they know what they want," he said. "They don't know what product they want." So he helps walk them through the features of cell phones or music players or other gizmos, he said, with a little hand-holding and a gentle nudge. "You don't want to just sell a person something," he said. "You've got to fit it into their lifestyle."

Research does not happen exclusively in the stores. My mother-in-law, Doris, is a born researcher and a fearless gift giver who canvasses her sisters when birthdays and holidays roll around. She asks them what gifts have worked the best for their grandchildren. Then she braves the electronics and music stores to double-check with salesmen. With only a couple of exceptions--a Britney Spears CD? Uh, thanks, Grandma--the kids have loved her gifts. Joseph, our 8-year-old, has spent many happy, violent hours playing Neverwinter Nights, a computer game of strategy and magic that Doris gave us a year or so ago on an excellent tip from a clerk.

Many chats with Joe begin with his lengthy exegesis of his most recent plan to win a particular scenario and to endow his heroes with awesome powers. This is a step up from previous discussions of Dav Pilkey's gross "Captain Underpants" series, even though we can have long conversations in which the only words I understand are the indefinite articles and a few of the nouns.

On a recent shopping day along Highway 22, an artery of commerce in northern New Jersey, buyers were beginning to consider the season to come, and say that they, too have developed holiday strategies. Laura Webb, who had stopped at a CompUSA to find ink cartridges for her printer, said, "I investigate before I buy."

Webb takes her daughter with her on technology shopping runs so that she chooses the right laptop or music player for the grandchildren. She fondly recalled last year's present for her 14-year-old granddaughter: a portable DVD player that goes along on trips and plugs into the car outlet. "It keeps her occupied, and she's past the point of counting trees," she said with a smile.

As she drives off, Dan Auriemma makes his way to his car. Twenty years old, thin and serious, he wears a knit cap and his boxers showing four inches above his low-rise jeans--that nonconformist look that so many are sporting these days. Auriemma says that he does buy gadgets for his grandmother, but only because he knows her likes and dislikes, and what she really needs. So, for example, he says he bought her a cable modem to move her beyond her pokey America Online dial-up connection.

Down the highway a bit, at the electronics counter at Wal-Mart, Walter Burgwyn stops to say that he would rather not take the risk of spending money and making the wrong choice for his seven grandchildren. "I just give the teenagers money," he said. "You can't satisfy anybody, no way."

With cash, Burgwyn said, you reach the gift-giver's true goal: "No returns."

That's certainly how Harshman, the California law student, sees it. Since the unfortunate incident with the Clie, he has learned a lesson: do not give Mom anything that he is not sure she wants. Whenever they get together, he makes sure she gets a good look at his latest toys for photography and music. If she is enthusiastic, he knows what to do.

That's how they ended up surprising each other last year with the same digital camera for Christmas: a Canon PowerShot G2 that takes four-megapixel photos. It was her first; it was his upgrade. And everybody is happily snapping away. Now Mrs. Harshman has bought an Apple iBook to carry with her on scuba diving trips; she uses the laptop to hold pictures that she transfers off of her underwater digital camera, and maintains the music for her iPod Mini as well.

"I would have bought her the iPod," he said, "but she beat me to it."

My own parents have learned a lot, too, since the incident of the little television. They call sometime in the fall and ask for very specific tips about gifts for the kids. It works.

In a conversation on the way to school the other day, Sammy said he remembered the gift TV very well. We have drilled into him and his brother and sister that the only proper response to a gift is "thank you," but in the privacy of the car (Oops! Hi, Mom!) he explained why the present did not appeal to him. "We already had a TV," he said. "It was an interesting idea, but in the end it was kind of useless."

He readily admitted, however, that he would have a difficult time buying presents back up the generational ladder. Without knowing exactly what someone likes, "if you guess, you're going to guess wrong," he said.

And while grandparents can get a crash course by watching the commercials on kid-oriented TV, the advertisements pitched to adults are not much help, he said. "I don't think I want to give Grandpa Viagra for Christmas," he said.

Entire contents, Copyright © 2004 The New York Times. All rights reserved.

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