Shakespeare was a woman

[RuffRyders]

[b]Shakespeare was a woman[/b]

For 200 years after his death, Shakespeare was the undisputed author of Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, and the 'Scottish Play', but all that changed this morning when a chiropodist from Shepheard's Bush, in London make a remarkable discovery in his back garden.

Mr Lionel Twitchen, a fifty-seven-year-old trainee chiropodist from Peckam and amateur dramatist with the Peckam Players — an experimental theatre group specialising in jazz adaptations of the works of Ben Jonson — was bubbling over with excitement when we interviewed him at his home this morning.
"There have been many theories about who wrote the Shakespeare plays," gushed the bespectacled foot doctor, "including Queen Liz I, but none them realise that the Bard was a bird!"

One of the more respected theories is that of a group of scholars who claim Edward de Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford, wrote the poems and 37 comic, tragic and historical plays using " William Shakespeare" as a pen-name.

Like the De Vere group, Mr Twitchen firmly believes there is an "unbridgeable chasm between Shakespeare's life and the plays" and says the remarkable documents he's unearthed show that the plays were written by a well-educated, well travelled and socially connected lady of the bedchamber at Elizabeth I's court — who is far more likely to have written steamy romances like 'Romeo and Juliet' and the sexy sonnets than an illiterate tommy tanker from Stratford-upon-Avon who hung around London street corners blagging sixpences from rich geezers for 'looking after their mounts'.

"Who was this mysterious woman?" we asked him.
"Anne Boleyn," replied the father-of-eight, smugly.
"Wasn't she a bit of a tart who had her head chopped off for shagging her brother?" we asked.
"No," replied Mr Twitchen, that was Ann Boleyn with a 'e', the woman who's private diary I've discovered wrote her name without an 'e".

"So what evidence is there that this 'Ann' without a 'e' actually wrote the plays?" we asked.
"This," replied Mr Twitchen, triumphantly thrusting a red, leatherette notebook with the words 'W H SMITH' embossed on the bottom left corner, into our reporter's hands.
"Er, we think this may be of slightly later origin than the mid 16th century," we suggested.
"Then how did those 16th century coins get stuck to the inside back cover?"
"You glued them in?" we prompted and prepared to beat a hasty retreat.

"Wait!" cried the foot fondler, with a feverish glint in his eyes, "I haven't showed you her knickers! They have Shakespeare's name embroidered on the gusset!"

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[Sp3culuM]

ROFL