The Funniest Tutorial - Ever

[Tami]

I found this on dA:

The Wannabe’s Guide to Successful Whoruming
Part One: Creating and Managing Your Thread

whorum (UK/’ho∙rum/ US/’hor∙um/) v.t. & i. Participate in the discussions of online forums, enthusiastically and with verve, for the purpose of mutual exaltation of both the self and the community. Hence whorumer, whoruming. [f. Whore + forum, after ~Lyesmith]

Too often, new visitors to the deviantART forums find themselves overwhelmed by the sheer mass of users and activity. They may succeed in making posts in existing threads, but become discouraged when their own threads are mocked, ignored, or locked away into obsolescence. “What do I have to do around here,” they might wonder in frustration, “to get people to respond to my threads? To treat me like an actual human being? To LOOK AT ME, DAMNIT!” If this sounds anything like that voice deep down in your wannabe whorumer soul (soft and squealy, isn’t it), then this tutorial is for you.

This is a mid-level tutorial designed for users who want to improve their basic whoruming skills at deviantART. It presumes prior knowledge of forum usage including but not limited to: what the different forum descriptions mean and how to choose what forum to post what thread in; what is considered an inappropriate topic according to the deviantART Terms of Service and/or Etiquette Policy; and how to identify and use the elusive Reply Button.

Step 1: Crafting Your Title

Your title is the single most important factor in attracting attention to your thread. It is your thread’s marquee, its great flashing billboard, its “Hi My Name Is” badge, and your singular opportunity to attract attention to your thread and ultimately yourself. Think of the forum’s list of topics as a series of sideshow barkers, each competing for the limited attention and resources of passers-by: the cleverest, wittiest, and loudest will be heard, while the plain-speaking, calm, and reasonable will be overlooked. The job of your title is to corral as many forumgoers as possible into the sideshow that is your thread, for once they are there it’s a fairly simple matter to fleece them of further time and investment. (You’ll get them to post, in other words. It’s a metaphor. Sheesh.)

Keep it pithy. Keep it succinct. You cannot expect your audience to have the attention span of anything exceeding a hyperactive gnat. Fill it with exciting verbs and objects of desire. Verbs will create a wave of thrilling pleasure, while the mention of desirable objects will make readers want to read your thread out of sheer covetousness. Alternatively, appropriately understated titles will lead to a sense of suspenseful movement and the anticipation thereof. Leave them wanting more (it’s in your thread!), and use your title as a bit of cheese on a string, luring your readers as mice towards your waiting grasp.

Examples of good titles include: “Fun with Boobs!” (Short, includes desired objects, with an implied verb leading to the object.) “The Revolution Has Begun. Tremble Before Us.” (Ominous, suspenseful, and inherently antagonistic.) “Damn Kids, Get off My Lawn!” (Forceful antagonism directed towards a huge portion of the deviantART user base. Anything that appears to insult adolescents is sure to get a response.)

Bad titles would include anything in faux-Japanese, particularly as an anime reference (“KivaXPikachu Kawaii”); the dull and uninteresting (“I went for a walk”); and the indistinct (“Do you ever...”). Put some life into your topic! Give the appearance of actual effort! Make it grab readers by the lapels and shake them into giving a dam! Because really, if you don’t care enough about your thread to give it a decent title, why should anyone else?

if you want to continue reading this tutorial, you can find the entire content here

[Wayne]

PRICELESS <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... ghing1.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\'(lol1)\' />