More and more people these days are building their own computers. Not only does it cost less to put together a machine yourself, but you also get to avoid the ignorant, shifty-eyed salesmen in PC World who only exist to pressure you into buying a worthless extended warranty. So why doesn't everyone build their own computer?
Because, of course, most people don't know how. There is a mystique surrounding computers - we are led to believe that they are sophisticated and complicated pieces of equipment that need to be built by trained experts using special tools such as "screwdrivers". This is simply untrue.
Building a computer is a surprisingly easy process that requires no technical knowledge or expensive components. Just follow my easy tutorial and you will soon have a computer powerful enough to play the latest games like Half-Life 3 and Doom 7 - for almost no money at all!
[color=\"red\"]***DISCLAIMER***[/color]Dr. Ashen cannot, and by God will not, be held responsible for any harm or misfortune that befalls yourself or any of your belongings as a result of following this tutorial. The information in this tutorial is provided "as is" - no guarantees, warranties, promises or proposals of marriage are given or should be implied. Under no circumstances will Dr. Ashen or any of his wholly owned subsidiaries provide recompense for any loss of goods, earnings, health, hair, sanity or virginity incurred by following this tutorial. The value of investments can go down as well as up. Your home is at risk if you do not keep up repayments on a mortgage or other loan secured on it. Dr. Ashen should be considered dangerous, and should not be approached by members of the public.
A cardboard box. Any fairly large cardboard box will do. Feel free to decorate it in whatever manner you see fit.
A television set. A 14" portable TV is preferred, but any colour model will suffice.
Electronic gubbins. You will need at least 2 green printed circuit boards, a funny looking cable and a metre of wires. These can be taken from pretty much any broken electronic equipment. Alternatively, parts like these can often be found in bins at the back of small businesses.
A standard 3-pin kettle power lead, a torch, and a length of bare wire (or solder).
A keyboard. Please note that an old fashioned typewriter will not work! You need an electronic keyboard. Although proper computer keyboards can be bought cheaply, I'm using a broken and dirty Amiga 600 I found in a skip.
A CD Player. A portable CD player is best due to it's compact size, but any device that can play CD's will be fine. Please note that you do not necessarily need built-in speakers - we will be making our own later.
Any infra-red remote control.
Two disposable plastic cups.
A Carrot
Pierce the bottoms of the plastic cups and insert the end of a wire into each. Attach the other ends of the wire to the cardboard box with sticky tape. You now have speakers!
Fit a piece of bare wire (or solder) into each of of the holes on the power lead. Ensure that all three are connected - if not, your wiring may not be properly earthed, which could be potentially dangerous.
Using blu-tac, attach each of the three wires from the power lead to the same piece of metal on any piece of the electronic gubbins.
