McDonnel Douglass Corporation

[mobil1_oils]

[font=\"tahoma\"][b][color=\"black\"] This was posted (very briefly) on the McDonnell Douglas Website by
an
employee there who obviously has a sense of humour.

The company, of course, does not have a sense of humour, and made
the web
department take it down immediately (for once, the 'IMPORTANT' note
at the
end is worth a read too!)


McDonnell DOUGLAS CORPORATION

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out
the
warranty registration card below.


Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
information will
help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and
desires.

1. Title:
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other

First Name:
....................................................
Initial: ........
Last
Name......................................................
Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
Code Name:
.....................................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................


2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified


3. Date of purchase <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O

(Year/Month/Day):...... /....... /......

4. Serial Number: ..............................................


5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified


6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
product
you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced
your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / manoeuvrability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be
used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq


9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend
to
purchase in the near future:
[_] Colour TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation?
(Indicate all
that apply:)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal


11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal cheque
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveller's cheque


12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defence Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student


13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate
the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on
a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilisation / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction


Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help
McDonnell
Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to
receive
mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
extremist
groups, and mysterious consortia.

As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered
to win a
brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write
to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION,
Marketing Department Military,
Aerospace Division


IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
confidential
privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
self-esteem,
no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not
the
intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or
copying of this email is not authorised (either explicitly or
implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
Unless the word
absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere
otherthan in
this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may
be
ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email,
although
the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
Those of
you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to
learn that
there is no hidden message revealed by reading
this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from
Microsoft.
However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and
your
computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.

If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg
and egg
whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly
and let it
stand for 2 hours before icing.


[s]Sauce[/s] Source= Chain Email
[/b][/color][/font]

[Adrasteia]

lol that was a good read, i hope the one who came up with it didnt get in trouble.
nem