Alone

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Tue Nov 23, 2004 11:58 pm

I thought I'd take a break and finally just post in this section with whatever comes out of my head. Please do give me suggestions on how to improve my poetry writing skills, I've not ever had a 'proper' lesson on how to actually write it, thanks <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... /smile.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':)\' />

[b]Alone[/b]
Alone by yourself.
Sitting in the corner avoiding them,
the ones who have hurt you,
the ones who put you down,
the ones who caused it.

Thinking of ways to leave,
sixteen you're out
sixteen you're gone
sixteen you get what you want
independance.

Parents gone,
Friends gone,
New friends there
New 'Parents' there
...yet I'm still alone

[size=1]Copyright 2004 by me under my real name[/size]

Most of you probably won't get this, but some will and that's all that matters lol

and I think this turned out crappy

[b]edit:

Changed 16 to sixteen[/b] <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... >/blum.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':P\' />

Rift · Post by **Rift** » Wed Nov 24, 2004 11:21 pm

i think it's very well written, i wouldnt suggest you change anything about your writing, that's part of the beauty of poetry, if people dont like it, "go write your own" lol
16... <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... /smile.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':)\' />

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Thu Nov 25, 2004 12:07 am

lol =P 16, yay..

RuffRyders · Post by **RuffRyders** » Thu Nov 25, 2004 12:11 am

I think it's great, well done Josh <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... >/good.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\'(Y)\' />.

Post by **Tami** » Thu Nov 25, 2004 3:47 am

No Josh, it's not crappy. Only thing is, use written out numbers, not numeric numbers when writing poetry.

Poetry gives freedom of expression, and you've conveyed that well.

Josh · Post by **Josh** » Thu Nov 25, 2004 4:37 am

ty all <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... /smile.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\':)\' />

Electrix · Post by **Electrix** » Thu Nov 25, 2004 5:36 am

Nice work josh, keep writing, youve got the skill for it <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... igwink.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\';)\' />
and write whatever comes to mind... apparently it helps to write things down <img src=\'http://www.killanet.net/forum3/public/s ... #>/dry.gif\' class=\'bbc_emoticon\' alt=\'<_<\' />